Top 7 Reasons People Give for Not Exercising

There's No Time

This is probably the top reason of all time that people give, not only for not going to the gym, but for anything remotely healthy, productive, economical, or character-building. People who say this apparently have no time to exercise because they are perpetually occupied in sharing and re-posting Internet memes and pictures (with typos, and sometimes transliterated Hindi) on such a wide variety of subjects as cats’ empowerment, Tupac Shakur, Bihu greetings, and the 10 most beneficial foods for a healthy pancreas. (Strangely, a lot of their posts involve "seizing the day," "living in the moment," and similar health and time-management catchphrases.) You can also spot some of these people by way of they stream whole seasons of TV series at a time, and are often found online at 3:30 at night, telling you via messenger, why they are unable to get up in the morning and, therefore, have no time to go to the gym.

I'm Too Fat

This epic reason has been cited by people for stuff as minor as climbing the stairs to the apartment. They elaborate by pointing an accusatory finger at other people and saying, "It’s okay for you; you’re thin." As applied to the gym, the logic is that it's too late and the risk of injury is too high—now that all this fat has mysteriously been allowed to accumulate unbeknownst to the individual—to be bouncing around on high-impact equipment. Or any equipment at all. Or stairs. Better play it safe and take some rest in front of the TV lest it get any worse.

A corollary reason given by people is poor health of some other sort (insomnia, joint pain, frequent colds, "piles/fistula, marriage, and other ailments"). Well, believe me, I talk from experience: you wouldn't have been in any of the above predicaments if you'd gone to the gym in the first place.

It's Too Expensive

I understand this concept in theory. Activity costs Rs. X; I do not have Rs. X. Or, alternatively, I have just about Rs. X, but I need it for my mom's hernia operation, to pay house rent, and feed my family. But what mystifies me is when people apply this concept to running in the free BBMP park on the corner. It also seems odd that the people who think gym memberships are expensive (maybe Rs. 3000 a month for a mid-range one?) seem to think that a much more profitable investment is throwing away their perfectly functional mobile phone and getting a Samsung Galaxy Note II (Rs. 34,500 a pop, but it is a phablet after all…)

The Gym Is Boring

I've heard so many people say this, and my response is: if you're bored in the gym, you're not working out right. There should be no scope in your workout to get bored; you should be getting bushed. The moment your body gets used to the repetitive nature of your workout, it ceases to be beneficial and it's time to take it up a notch, or at least shake it up a bit. Have you ever got on that upside-down-reverse-incline horse riding machine over in the corner? Well, then you’re barely scratching the surface of the gym's treasures and it's a little early in the day to say you’re bored.

Another claim made by these people is that they don't wanna be cooped up in a stuffy old gym and they'd rather be exercising in the great outdoors, in the arms of nature, and all that. Strangely, they usually say this from the arms of their office (or car or apartment). An interesting statistic in this regard: 71% of Bangalore-, Hyderabad-, and Pune-based populations cited their number-one preference for places they'd like to work out as the beach.

Note: If you want a non-exercise-related type of distraction to keep you on your toes, if you'll pardon the expression, pick someone hot and hit on them in a manner that is just inefficient enough to ensure that you do not actually get anywhere with them and yet avoid the restraining order.

The Gym Is Dirty

It's not.

It's Too Hot/Cold

Mostly, it's the same people who say it's too hot to run around outside or in the gym who also say it's too cold to go swimming. This strange fluctuating weather phenomenon seems to be isolated in a little cloud over their heads, though, because all the pools, parks, gyms, and BMTC bus depots are full. A lot of the people who manage to subdue this obstacle soon begin to notice that it's raining. Let's not forget the important lesson that Benjamin Franklin and Nikola Tesla taught us by getting struck down by lightning because they went swimming in the rain.

Lack of Motivation

So when they've finally run to the end of their litany of excuses for not going to the gym, which reads somewhat like a life-insurance policy disclaimer (Vagaries of Nature, Acts of God, Coercion, Insolvency, and Unsoundness of Mind ab. initio), people play the motivation card. Exactly who, that is more personally interested in YOUR fitness and physical well-being, do you think is responsible for "motivating" you? I've actually heard people, in all seriousness, complain that they left the gym because the trainer was "not motivating enough." Well, unless your trainer told you not to bother doing pectoral exercises because "you got nothing" (a la my trainer, to me) then you've no business saying that. I've also heard of people leaving the gym because the "music wasn’t going their way," but I consider these people beyond the scope of this discussion. If they had just waited long enough, any self-respecting gym would have played Enrique Hero.