My Secret Theory

This is not a secret theory (no shit, emblazoning it on my blog) so much as a theory about secrets.

What you need:

-Your deepest, darkest secret

-The most selfish and self-absorbed person you know

What to do:

-Tell said person your secret.

Results:

-Telling your secret to someone will be very liberating for you and help you take a load off.

-You will not have much interruption or annoying psycho-analysis from your audience.

-Most importantly, your secret will never get out because the person you told is so self-absorbed that, if at all they listened to what you said, they will not retain it long enough to repeat it.

Who's Judging?

"I'm not judging or anything..." "Don't judge me..."
How often have we heard phrases like that? We've made "judgement" the dirtiest word of our time. But after all, what do judges do? Look at all the facts, listen to all the evidence, put it together with logic, and come to a conclusion. I can think of worse ways to go. The judge doesn't even go so far as to say whether the accused is a good person or bad. Judges merely judge if the accused is guilty of a particular act or not, based on all the facts, the evidence, and the application of logic. They may then award punishment because it is in their power to do so.
But call the guy who lounges around in bed watching TV all day every day lazy, and he will accuse you of judgement, a far greater sin than sloth. I, personally, fail to see the active and ambitious person trying to get out. I do judge him to be lazy, and I'm not afraid to say so.